Brought to you by Gifted Ones www.giftedones.net
Please do not stream or make profit from these subtitles.
The lights were on, so I thought it was a thief.
Sorry.
Did you spend the night here?
Yes, I missed the last train.
It's still early.
Go to a sauna and get some rest.
I was just a body with no soul.
Ironically, I can only feel my existence when I'm hurting you and making you suffer.
Dearest Maria.
Only when I'm making you suffer.
Kono yo no Hate
Episode 8 The Moment I Lose Your Love
If you could sign here.
You're our daughter now.
Yes, beginning today you're Murai Nana.
Mrs. Sunada.
We don't have much, but we've worked hard.
We promise to take good care of her.
We'll make her happy.
- We promise. - Thank you.
Thank you, Nana!
They're such nice people.
You allowed Nana to be adopted?
You always tell me I'm a no-good mother.
Doesn't this bother you?
Why should it?
She's got a disability, but they're even willing to find Nana a husband.
And Nana gets to live surrounded by flowers.
You don't care if she becomes a stranger's daughter!
I can't help it! It was her decision!
It was her decision. She wants to be happy.
Why didn't she talk to you about this?
Nana!
Jun?
Please understand how I feel!
I can't help myself!
I love you!
Nana!
I have a knife. Please don't scream!
I had to do this.
I'll do anything!
I would die for you!
Help me!
Nana!
This is a gift to celebrate your new job.
It's a necktie.
Thanks, you shouldn't have bothered.
It's nothing. I was shopping for myself.
Well, I suppose so.
Aren't you going home?
Did something happen to Maria?
No.
You don't look too well.
I've had trouble sleeping.
Really?
Would you like to stay with me again?
You can use my bed while I'm at work.
But, you should go home today.
With each fight, it makes it harder to go home.
Shall I give you medication to help you?
It's a sedative.
I have them prescribed for my insomnia.
Maybe it's my lack of sleep that makes me irritable.
You'll feel better after a good night's sleep.
If...
If Maria and I...
Sure.
You can come to my place.
I don't want you to break up with her.
But if it comes to that, I will welcome you.
Don't.
I know, you're just kidding.
But isn't it nice to know you have someone like me?
Yes, but I'm not being fair.
We're all scared of being alone.
Thank you.
Am I cheering you up?
You came back?
I'm going to sleep for a while.
Please leave a message.
I heard you've decided to be adopted.
You've probably doing this to cut ties with me.
But I...
I want you to go through the operation. Please let me do that for you.
I will call again, Nana.
You lost your father when you were young.
My secretary was worried that I was getting too involved with you.
So, he did some research. Please don't be offended.
I'm just guessing...
You never really felt loved by your father.
I can tell by the way you interact with Shiro.
Girls feel as though it's their fault when they don't feel loved by their fathers.
And that feeling never goes away.
Even after they grow up and fall in love.
So they blame themselves for the inadequacies of the men they love.
Some say it's nurturing, but psychologically speaking, the woman is the victim.
Shiro is not inadequate.
Not when he was a pianist.
Women try to make up for what their men fail to do.
But, that becomes a smothering nuisance to a man.
Because he sees how pathetic he really is.
Especially if he's in love with her.
And?
They'll break up.
I won't.
Not you.
The man will leave the woman.
Did you say something to Shiro?
What did you say?!
Maria.
Did I wake you?
Blue came back?
Yes, he did.
Do you want to sleep on the bed?
No.
Okay.
What did you do today?
I went to work.
Since he gave me the job.
Shiro.
What?
Do you want to go out this Sunday?
Stop.
Stop forcing yourself.
You don't have to ask me out or talk to me.
It gives me a headache.
Sorry.
Why are you apologizing?
Why?
Why?!
What are you doing now?
I work at a cement factory.
Hard labor.
I just can't get any other job.
What did you want? Is this about Nana?
I've done something terrible.
I...
What about Nana?
What did you do to Nana?
You...
You didn't?
Something came over me.
I couldn't express myself to her!
I don't know what to do!
You!
How could you?!
I told you I wouldn't forgive you if you hurt Nana!
I told you!
Please kill me!
Kill me!
I don't know... I've never loved anyone.
I didn't know how to make her love me.
So, I just...
I loved her so much.
I could die for her.
It hurt me so much when she didn't love me back.
But, I didn't know what to do.
You're a hopeless fool.
What should I do now?
How should I know!
I don't even know.
Nana.
You're moving to the flower shop?
Yes, by the end of this month.
Please, don't think I'm doing this because of you.
I've always wanted to repay them for all that they've done for me.
This job, regardless of my disability.
I feel confident about what I do at the florist.
Not to be conceited or anything,
I just felt that they really needed me.
That's why.
To be honest, I did hate you a bit for what you did.
But, I love you more than I hate you.
No... I just really gave it a lot of thought.
I put myself in your shoes and did some serious thinking.
Am I the only unfortunate person? Am I the only one?
I think you may have suffered even more.
Because I'm blind, expressions and voice tones can't fool me.
You were always so kind to me.
You were always so kindhearted.
Nana?
Don't worry about the operation.
If you're trying to do something you shouldn't, then I want you to stop.
Other people are patiently waiting for a donor.
I want to wait for my turn, too.
No matter how long it takes.
Even if I become an old lady.
The sun won't tell me the day has begun.
The moon doesn't tell me it's dark outside.
So, I wake up and go to sleep when I want to.
Nana...
Isn't there something you want to talk about?
Not right now.
I see.
How about you?
Not right now.
Okay.
I'll be leaving then.
Nana.
You're strong.
Really?
Bye.
How is the medication I gave you?
I slept well that night.
I'll get you some. You should just go to sleep.
Thank you.
Don't you have to go to work?
I can't leave you here like that.
Men and women can easily live together.
But, it's not easy to really be with someone.
We want someone better than what the other wants.
I felt like a robot and I ran from the piano, and I met Maria.
I was faking my amnesia, and I could easily return to the piano, when I wanted to.
Knowing I had that cushion, I could be kind to Maria.
And Maria too, was kind to me.
We could care for one another.
It was short lived, but we were happy.
But, I lost everything when I couldn't play the piano.
I had nothing I could be proud of, and I would lash out at Maria.
If I don't blame Maria, I feel I'll lose sight of myself.
Maria never says anything.
She just has this sad look, and that tortures me.
It's like a mirror.
A mirror that reflects the ugliness of my heart.
Why don't you leave her?
You should leave her.
For Maria's sake.
You know Orion, don't you?
Look, it's the brightest. I'd say it's sexy.
The red one is Betelgeuse.
The white one is Rigel.
They represent the red and white stars.
Orion was loved by the goddess of the moon and hunting Artemis.
But, her brother Apollo was unhappy about that.
So, one day, as Orion was walking in the sea,
Apollo shined a light on Orion and challenged
his sister to hit the shining target with her arrow.
The goddess lifted her bow without a thought.
But when she found out it was Orion,
Artemis wept and grieved.
So, Artemis asked the god of the skies to make
Orion into a constellation so she could see him always.
And that's why the moon passes through Orion during the winter.
Thank you.
You know so much.
I just learned that.
It's been a while since we've been out like this.
Maria.
What is it?
I've thought about this.
Maybe we should live separately for a while.
I think it would be for the best.
For how long?
It's not your fault.
It's my fault.
How long?
Tell me. How long?
Shiro?
Maria...
I've...
I've slept with her.
Shiro...
I...
I'm pregnant.
What are you going to do?
They're going to leave everything to her.
You won't get anything.
They don't trust me at all.
Give me back my money!
You told me you could sell your parents' land!
I have an idea!
If she's going to get all the money, we'll just take it from her.
I'll marry her.
It must be from Maria.
Sa-int E-xu-pé-ry...
Saint Exupéry.
"The Little Prince."
Why do you need so much?
That's none of your business.
You're going to do this to the man you love?
Who said anything about love?
I can kill him.
Stop being jealous.
Don't worry. I won't fall in love.
Just give it to me.
I get paid by the day, but even beer is expensive in a place like this.
A good drink, and everything will disappear.
Is something the matter?
No, it's nothing.
You're not looking for your daughter?
So you heard?
Not my daughter, but a young lady.
Isn't that sort of pathetic? To come after her?
You're right.
I was in love with her and I ended up...
killing my wife.
I started working at your mother's place right after I got out of jail.
Don't worry.
I've awoken from that nightmare.
Then, why are you still searching for her?
I don't want her to create someone like me again.
When you find her?
I'll take her... to the end of this world.
Check, please. I'll never come.
Isn't this your precious time with Shiro?
Or, did you break up with him?
We just separated.
There's no sense in me going home,
so I'm keeping my favorite customer company.
I see.
Your fiancée was in a magazine.
Another political marriage.
Congratulations.
You can be my mistress.
- I'm a hostess. - 500,000 yen?
It'll cost you more than that.
You have to forget Shiro.
I see.
So, you broke up with her and came to me?
Stop talking.
Sorry, please don't be mad.
I'm not mad.
I...
I was in love in junior high school.
It was my first love.
He said he loved me, too.
He said he did many times.
That's why I trusted him to such an extent that...
I was surrounded by three motorcyclists.
I cried for help!
I called out his name...
but he ran away.
He left me there...
and ran away!
And I've been frigid, ever since.
With every man.
Always.
I...
Thank you.
I'll wait for you.
No, I can walk. It's close.
Maria...
Won't you marry me?
Stop fooling around.
There was a woman who looked just like you. Long ago, I made this woman very unhappy.
My mother.
I'll take care of your sister's operation.
And, even your baby.
If we had met first, I would have jumped at the opportunity.
But, I can't depend on anyone now.
I can only depend on Shiro.
You're probably a wonderful person.
My head, my head!
I'll get your medication!
My head!
My head hurts! Help me!
Maria!
Maria.
It hurts!
Hurry. Hurry!
It probably won't help to drink this.
What should I do? What?
Help me!
Blue, Shiro left.
If I could be reborn, I always wanted to be man.
That's what I thought until I met Shiro.
He taught me that it wasn't bad to be a woman.
Don't worry. He'll come home.
He'll come home, if we're good.
Maria.
Dearest Maria.
I couldn't save you.
I can't even save myself.
Dearest Maria.
Not even myself.
English translation by Nippon Golden Network
Transcribed from capture by groink www.groinkcaps.com
Episode titles & extra scenes translated by calimerina